Back in 2018 I was at a conference in Brooklyn NYC and we were guided to do a values-based assessment.
I remember going through it feeling like a massive failure or something because I did not know what my values were.
I didn’t know who I was, really.
I’d been on a seeking journey up till that point, but I was still living very much out of integrity with what I ultimately desired, and so no wonder I couldn’t identify my values…I was out of alignment with them!
So fast forward to today and I have spent the last almost 3 years removing everything (and everyone) in my life that did not support what I desired.
I started small and trimmed the fat, then I started to get closer and closer to the quick – and whoah, that was painful and so fucking hard.
But each time I did I felt lighter, freer, and more and more in integrity.
My body started talking to me loudly in this time where I would literally get into bouts of severe anxiety anytime I was out of integrity with myself.
At first, I didn’t know why I was anxious, I just thought I struggled with anxiety because of my upbringing and running on survival mode my whole life.
But then I started to listen more and realized that anxiety was my body’s signpost I was not in my truth – I was compromising somehow.
Like people-pleasing, or holding back what I really wanted to say, or lying to cover what I felt ashamed or embarrassed about, or being one way with one person and another way with another person…it was everywhere in my life and every day I scrubbed and scrubbed until all that was left was ME!
From this exploratory work I discovered what my values actually are, and then those became my guiding light on how to be a human in this incarnation my soul chose.
These are just words unless you actually live them…so here are mine:
Integrity & Truth – I will not engage in anything or with anyone unless it’s in integrity and I can be my full self with them or in it.
Growth & discomfort – the people in my life including clients and lovers and friends MUST be comfortable with growing, and this means discomfort (which is tied to integrity & truth).
Compassion – for self, first and foremost, then it’s way easier to have it for others (and as an aside, this also shuts off the mean bitch/asshole in your mind).
Love & Joy – feeling this in my heart and as my undercurrent (gratitude and satisfaction are my pathways there)
Freedom – when all of this is being lived, free is how I ultimately feel
Intimacy – when all of this is being lived, intimacy is what you get
Personal responsibility – the need to be right was an alligator I wrestled with for a long time…until I realized how toxic and damaging it was. I lived in Victim mode my entire life because it’s SO MUCH EASIER to do that than live by your values…so I take this responsibility for the decisions I make as much as possible.
Just thought I’d share, ya know cause it’s Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada and some of you may be reflecting on stuff in your lives, grateful to be with family and to slow down for a couple days…perhaps this will inspire you to lean more into your own values
How do you open yourself up to receive what the universe has for you?
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